 |
|
Message for May 2, 2010
Updated on 25-05-10 |
|
|
MCC: 05.02.10
Text: Mark 1.14-20; 10.45; and others.
Series: Freedom
copyright, Timothy M. Brokaw. Permission granted for non-commercial purposes.
Freedom from Loneliness
Intro) A) A few weeks ago, I read an article from USA Today entitled, The dark side of loneliness. The article carried the subtitle of: It can hurt the body and mind (By Liz Szabo, posted online at usatoday.com, 4/7/2010 10:57 PM, accessed on April 19, 2010). The article discusses the case of
Jody Schoger (who) felt utterly alone, “curled up like a turtle” in her hospital bed, where she was fighting a life-threatening infection after breast cancer surgery. "I remember never even opening the blinds, just hibernating," says Schoger, of The Woodlands, Texas. “I even started sleeping with the blankets pulled over my head. I was at the edge of the world.”
Like many people with serious illness, Schoger found herself cut off from family, friends and the "real" world outside the hospital, which began to feel like another planet. Although many people would have been happy to help, Schoger says, she never thought to call them. And though the hospital was filled with doctors, nurses and other patients, Schoger….felt very much alone.
The author continues by quoting John Cacioppo, director of the University of Chicago's Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience who says, “the pain of loneliness is caused less by being alone than by feeling alone.”
B) Many of us can identify with those words. We may be surrounded by people at work or school, or even at home or church. Yet we “feel alone.” And loneliness has serious consequences. The same article details how “Lonely people (can) have higher blood pressure and weaker immune systems…Loneliness may…affect our genes. In lonely people, genes that promote inflammation are more active, while genes that reduce inflammation are less active.”
C) We’re in a series of messages entitled “Freedom.” We’re talking about how we can be set free from a variety of human experiences that threaten to enslave us including, so far, the fear of death, and the experiences of guilt, materialism, and worry.
D) As I was mapping out this series, it struck me how many of us face the trap of loneliness. For some of us, it’s because we’ve lost a spouse or we’ve never married. Others of us face the loneliness that comes from being a long way from family such as parents or siblings.
E) Whatever our situation, it seems to me that loneliness may be felt most deeply by those of us who are single adults. Yet, as I’ve been reflecting on loneliness these past couple of weeks, I realized that the greatest human being who ever lived was a single adult. We don’t often think of him this way but Jesus Christ lived his entire adult live as a single adult.
1) Jesus said in Matthew 8.20, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Those are lonely words, aren’t they? And John 7.5 says that “even his own brothers did not believe in him.”
2) For a time during his ministry, Jesus was alienated from his own family. Jesus battled loneliness and he serves as an example for us in our own battles with loneliness.
Trans) We’ll look at three actions that Jesus took that we need to take as we battle loneliness.
I) We Need to Pursue a Relationship with God.
A) In his Confessions, the great Christian thinker and writer Augustine prays, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you" (Lib 1,1-2,2.5,5: CSEL 33, 1-5, from http://www.crossroadsinitiative.com, accessed on April 30, 2010).
1) When I was single, I thought that if I could get just get married, I’d never be lonely again. But I’ve been married for seventeen years next month. I think that Terri and I have a great relationship. Yet, I still experience loneliness.
2) The reality is that no human relationship is sufficient to meet all of our needs. God has made us with a God-sized vacuum in our hearts. He has made us for himself, and our hearts are restless until it rests in him. God wants us to pursue a relationship with him.
3) In a passage which we looked at a couple of weeks ago, Romans 8.15, Paul writes, “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Aramaic word “Abba” was one of the first words that a child who spoke the language that Jesus spoke would say. In much the same way that mothers in our country get frustrated because their infant says “DaDa” before he or she says “MaMa,” an Aramaic speaking mother would get frustrated because her child’s first words were “Ab-ba.” God wants us to pursue a close relationship with him.
B) Jesus pursued that kind of relationship with God.
1) In Mark 3, Jesus is told that his brothers and mother want to speak with him. Jesus responds, “Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother.” As important as human relationships are, Jesus places the priority on his relationship with God.
2) We have numerous examples of Jesus praying as he sought a deeper relationship with God. In one instance, Mark tells us that “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Luke tells us that it was “Jesus’ custom” to pray in what we call the “Garden of Gethsemane.”
3) In the fourth gospel of John, Jesus and his disciples enter a town in the region of Samaria. The disciples leave to get something to eat. Jesus engages a Samaritan woman in conversation. This is shocking for two reasons: one, Samaritans and Jews could not stand each other; two, it was a cultural faux pas for a man to speak to any woman in public who was not his wife. So, Jesus shares the good news with this woman. And, when the disciples get back, John records their conversation with Jesus. They say to Jesus: "Teacher, eat something." 32But he said to them, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." 33Then his disciples said to each other, "Could someone have brought him food?" 34"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Jesus is saying to his disciples, “It is more important to me to have a relationship with God and do God’s will than it is for me to eat.”
4) Throughout the gospel of John, Jesus emphasizes that he has been sent from God. In John 5.30, he says, “I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” In John 8.29, Jesus proclaims, “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him." Jesus prays for his followers in John 17.21: “all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”
5) The priority of Jesus’ life, the source of his strength, the goal of his existence, was wrapped up in his relationship with his Father in heaven.
C) The writers of the Psalms also demonstrate this single-minded concern for a relationship with God. Psalm 73.25 says, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.” One of the songs that we’ve sung around here for quite some time is based on Psalm 42.1-2: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. 2My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”
1) We have several animals at our house but we do not have a deer. We have a rabbit and a small rat which the girls tell me is a hamster. Or is it a gerbil? I can’t remember. It barely qualifies as an animal.
2) We also have a dog…which almost qualifies as a human. Last week, I heard daughter Olivia washing her hands. We may have been getting ready for a meal because I was also washing my hands. I heard Olivia address the dog, “Honey, I’m just washing my hands.” Immediately, I heard the patter of Honey’s paws, and she was now earnestly looking up at me while I washed my hands. She had this look on her face which said to me, “What part of water do you people not understand?” So I said to her, “Are you thirsty, girl?” I got out a bowl and put water in it. She proceeded to drink the water rapidly.
3) The Psalmist says that we are to thirst for God in the same way that a thirsty animal longs for water, the very essence of life. That’s what Jesus did. He pursued a relationship with God with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Trans) Loneliness is difficult to overcome. If we’re to find freedom from loneliness, we begin by pursuing a relationship with the God who created us and loves us. Next,
II) We Need to Pursue Relationships with Others.
A) God has created us in such a way that even a relationship with him is not enough. We are created to live in community. We are created to pursue relationships with others.
B) Jesus did this. If ever there were a person who could have lived his life entirely alone, relying only on his relationship with God, it was Jesus. But he chose not to do so.
1) Mark tells us in chapter one, verses 14-20:14After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. 15"The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" 16As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 17"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 18At once they left their nets and followed him. 19When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. 20Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.
2) According to Mark, one of the first things that Jesus does as he begins his ministry his ministry to call others to follow him. From the very beginning, Jesus is committed to establishing a community. He is committed to pursuing relationships with other people.
C) Later in Mark 3, Mark tells us in verses 13-15: 13Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. 14He appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach 15and to have authority to drive out demons. Did you notice the first reason that Mark gives for Jesus designating 12 apostles? The first reason for calling the twelve disciples was that they might be with him. Jesus wanted these twelve to be with him, to spend time with him, to pursue relationships with him.
D) Now, if I was forming a community of people with which to pursue relationships, I’d try to choose people who got along, who thought like I thought and wanted to do things the way that I wanted to do them. But Mark gives us the list of the twelve apostles in verses 16-19: 16These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter 17 James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means Sons of Thunder); 18Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot 19and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.
1) We won’t look at all twelve disciples but let’s pay special attention to a couple of the twelve. First, the very last of the twelve that Mark mentions is Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him. Jesus actually chose someone whom he knew betray him. Jesus chose a person who wanted him dead.
2) Well, at least all of the disciples got along, right? Well, Jesus gives two brothers the nickname, the Sons of Thunder. Is that the nickname that you give to two people who are meek and mild, quiet, unassuming, easy to get along with? I doubt it.
3) Finally, Mark notes that two of the disciples are Matthew and Simon the Zealot. Simon was part of a group, “the Zealots,” who wanted to overthrow the Roman government. And who was Matthew? Do you remember? Matthew was a tax collector. In other words, he worked for the Roman government. Do you think that they had some interesting conversations? How about some heated discussions? It would be like going camping for six months with Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich. It’s not something you would want to do.
E) Yet, Jesus, committed himself to living in community, to pursuing relationships with others. Ironically, sometimes when we’re lonely and in pain, we choose to avoid relationships. Brian Jones tells the story of the time that he started a bereavement support group for people who had lost family members and friends. He recruited a Christian counselor to come and lead an eight-week session. Though the number of available slots on the sign-up sheet were quickly filled, Jones was disappointed because there was one elderly lady's name not on the list. She was still struggling to let her husband go, even though he had passed away fifteen years earlier. He called her on the phone and asked her if she would like to go to the support group. She answered, "Absolutely not," she said. "I'm not going to go into a room full of strangers and talk about my man," and she hung up the phone. He called her again and she hung up again. That Sunday Mary smiled at Jones and said, "I'm sorry, Brian. I just can't. I can't bring myself to do it. I hope you understand."
Jones finishes the story by writing, “Two weeks later the group started with a room full of hurting people. Women who were grieving miscarriages joined the group. One woman had lost her sister in an airplane crash. The group grew so close that they didn't want to disband after eight weeks. They kept going….Yet I always felt a twinge of sadness whenever I thought about that group because my friend Mary missed out. The group could have changed her life if she had just given it a chance.” Then, Brian finishes the article by writing, “Don't let this happen to you. Make the decision right now that you're going to step out and risk living in Christian community” (Brian Jones, Non-religious Devotional Thoughts, April 21, 2010).
F) Pursing relationship with others can be risky, and, as Jesus discovered, it can be downright painful. But it’s worth it and it’s the way that God has wired us. Throughout the New Testament, we have the commands that we often call the “One anothers.” “Love one another.” “Care for one another.” “Bear one another’s burdens.”
G) Do you remember Jody Schoger, the cancer patient from the USA Today story? She was curled up like a turtle in her hospital bed. The article ends this way, And Schoger — who has been cancer-free for 12 years — says she sometimes finds support in unexpected ways. "If any survivor posts something onto Twitter or Facebook that they're 'having a hard day,' I can bet you 10 to 1 that he or she is surrounded by good wishes by day's end," she says. "Yet the survivor, the one who is ill, has to be willing to take that step. Once he or she does, the burden of illness and its perceived isolation fades away." We need to take the step toward community.
Trans) Jesus teaches us to pursue a relationship with God, pursue relationships with others, and,
III) We Need to Serve Others
A) A few weeks ago, I ran across a story which CNN reported last year. The story online begins this way: Nene Anegasaki is a witty, doe-eyed beauty. She looks perfectly perky in sexy skirts, doesn't pick fights and is always at one Tokyo man's beck and call -- that is why the 27-year-old decided to marry her. The only complication: She is a videogame character in the Nintendo DS game called "Love Plus." Still, that didn't stop Sal 9000 -- the only name the groom would give -- from marrying Nene in a ceremony witnessed live by thousands on the Web. When asked if Nene is his dream woman, Sal replied, "Yes, she is. Her character changes to my liking as we talk and travel to different places" (http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/12/16/japan.virtual.wedding/index.html).
B) I have no idea what most of that article is about. I have no idea how one marries a virtual girl. What struck me about the article for our concerns this morning is the statement that Sal 9000 makes about his virtual girlfriend: Her character changes to my liking as we talk and travel to different places. Most of think an idea partner or an idea friend would constantly attempt to live up to our expectations. If people would “just do things my way,” life would be better, we think. We want the world and all of our relationships to revolve around us.
C) You know there is only one person around whom the world has ever revolved. Paul writes of Jesus in Colossians 1, 16For by him all things were created…He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Yet, Jesus didn’t act like the world revolved around him. Instead, in Mark 10.45, he says this of himself: 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
D) Jesus pursued a relationship with God and others. But he went beyond that by choosing to serve others. In the same passage in which Paul writes that the world revolves around Jesus, he adds: God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Even though all things had been created through Jesus, he came to this world to serve us and to give his life for us.
E) If you’re battling loneliness, seek to serve others. Call a neighbor. Serve one afternoon a week (or a month, depending on your schedule) at LICS or some other community organization. Cook a meal for another person who is alone or go fix something for someone.
F) A few weeks back, the nation watched as Butler University, a school with 4,500 students and a relatively small budget for basketball, took on the major basketball powers and advanced to the NCAA basketball championship game. Butler missed winning by inches when a last second half-court shot hit the backboard, the front rim and then fell off (That made me very sad for two reasons. One, I grew up going to Butler games with my Dad, his best friend, and my twin brother. Two, if Butler had won, I would have won a recliner from WLTX.). When you listen to the Butler coaches and the Butler players, they often speak of “the Butler Way.” I found a definition of the Butler Way recently. Here is how they define it. The Butler Way demands commitment, denies selfishness, accepts reality yet seeks improvement every day while putting the team above self (Quoted by John Caldwell, The Preacher’s Podium, April 12, 2010 | volume 05 | issue 15, Kingsway Christian Church, Avon, IN ). That not only sounds like a good prescription for a basketball team; it sounds like a good prescription for the church. “Deny selfishness while putting others above self.” Seek to serve others as you battle loneliness.
Conc) A) Psychiatrist Jacqueline Olds, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, is the co-author of a book entitled The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century. USA Today quotes her as saying that loneliness is a universal feeling, but people are embarrassed about it. She says, "They don't like to admit they're lonely because they feel like it's admitting they're a loser, when in fact, it's universal," she says.
B) Loneliness is universal. We shouldn’t be ashamed to admit that we’re lonely. But we don’t have to be enslaved by it. Like Jesus, we can pursue a relationship with God, with others, and we can seek to serve others, and each other. We don’t have to drift apart in the 21st Century.
|
| |
|
|
Back to Resource Index
|
|
|
|
